WHERE IS THE BUDDHA?
Papaji's Final Teaching
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Recently
I shared the last teaching that my guru gave, from his deathbed, while
coming out of a semi-conscious state. Fiercely, furiously, he asked each
one of his devotees in the room with him a very essential question, which
is really the root of all his teaching, throughout all of his time here
with us. And that question is, "Where is the Buddha?"
Where is the Buddha? You could substitute Peace, God, or Truth. Where is Peace? Where is God? Where is Truth? Finally, where is Life itself? Where is Life to be found? In resolving the question, Where is the Buddha? there is a reconciliation of all apparent opposing forms, and in understanding life, it is the same. This reconciliation is revealed in the discovery of where life is. Where is that which you are seeking? I know where you have sought for it, and you must know where you have sought for it. You must carefully, ruthlessly, see where you have looked for Truth, for Life, for God, for Yourself. Ruthlessly tell the truth about what has been found there, and then ask yourself, in truth, "Where am I?"
Papaji taught until he died, and always his teaching was pointing you . . . not even within, because you have some idea of where within is. Certainly you have some idea of where outside is. You have looked outside, and you have looked within. Now, if you will simply look at the Looker, and see what is seen, then you can continue the gift that is Papaji's life.
Someone in satsang referred to a particular disciple of Papaji's as "one of his most beloved disciples." Well, this is not true. There was no one more beloved than any other. This profound message, from this profound master, that somehow attracts you is yours if you will have it. If you will let it pierce your heart open, it will relentlessly reveal Itself, as Life Itself.
I got news from Lucknow of people who all of a sudden, without looking toward the form of Papaji for Papaji, found Papaji. His body burned for some hours in the night, and in the morning, his body was gone. But his Teaching is still alive. His body was simply a magnificent pointing to that Teaching.
This is a very great time, this time of the passing of a life form as powerful as Papaji's. It is a huge time, and it is happening here. Not just there in Lucknow. Here, where you are.
I have been crying my eyes out for three days, and it hasn't been grief as I have ever known it. Through all of this, there is has been the experience that however deep this grief is, it is held in the hands of . . . whatever we can call it. I call it Papaji sometimes, or supreme power, or I can't even find a word for it. But there's an awareness through this time that this great gift of Papaji's death is deeper than any grief. The grief isn't something that I have to expel from my system.
Yes, hallelujah. Grief, too, is welcome here.
And there is also gratitude and trust. It's like in this trust, nothing is impossible, nothing is too much. I saw Papaji and his complete trust, his complete surrender. I was crying as I drove down here, thinking of the experience of seeing him and seeing nobody there. And I heard his voice saying, "Well, look inside, who is there?" He's not finished with me yet.
That's right, he is just beginning. Luckily, this is just the very tip of the beginning of this endless finishing.
Someone asked me if I was sad over Papaji's death, and I said, "Yes, profoundly sad. Totally sad. Exquisitely sad." This sadness is bliss itself. There is no keeping out sadness in the least. No dissociating from sadness, no being bigger than sadness, no being enlightened so that there is no sadness, just exquisite, profound, deep sadness like I have never known sadness. I thought I had known sadness, but what I had known was some dramatization of sadness, some periphery of sadness. I didn't know sadness has this fullness, has this face of God that I had kept away. So I am happy to tell the world that yes, I am profoundly sad at the loss of Papaji's form, and in the midst of that, I am exquisitely joyful in the realization of what Papaji is, which can never be lost. The realization has not shifted one iota with the disillusion of his form. How is this possible? Because this is Life. It is not some version of life, not some story of life. It is Life. Everything is included here. Everything is the face of God, here. Every gain, every loss, every you, every me—all simply reflecting each other.
The gift of Papaji's birth into my life was in 1990. Before that I didn't know there was a Papaji. Then, seven years later in this life, he died. A form is born and a form dies. What Papaji's form always pointed to is That which was here before he was born, and will be here after he is gone, and That is who he is. It is who I am. It is who you are. It is who they are. It is so simple, so obvious, so deep.
As the grief deepens so does the bliss. There's nothing between them.
Yes. There is no separation. This is the teaching. The teaching is the direct experience of no separation. This may fit with certain understandings that you have, certain theologies you have read about and hope are true, but none of that is relevant in the direct experience of the deepening recognition of who one is.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. What a thing to say to one another. Usually we are saying, "What are you going to give me? How can I get more of it? How much does it cost? Will you give me a discount?" When we say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," there is no room in the mind for suffering. There is no room for grasping. The mind is filled with Life, recognizing Itself as Life, and overflowing with unspeakable gratitude. To be That, to recognize That, is why we are born into one another's lives. In this moment, and in whatever moment may follow this, let the birth of these forms, appearing in each other's lives, give to one another who one is.
The Tibetan's speak of this life as a "precious human birth." The moment where it is possible in the experience of human incarnation, and the evolution of the human mind, to actually experience the truth of who one is as That which encompasses all incarnation, through all time. Always this is so, but this precious human birth is a moment in the vastness of immeasurable time where this can be directly experienced. In speaking of the preciousness, the value, and the opportunity of human birth, sometimes we overlook the preciousness, the value, and the opportunity of human death. This gift of the end of a lifetime. Blessings on both ends and all in-between. If this opportunity of death will be met, what has never been born is seen, is recognized, is known. This is your gift. This is the blessing that each one of you in this room has. By some undeserved grace, having nothing to do with whatever good you think you have done, having nothing to do with whatever bad you think you have done, somehow, undeserved grace rains down, calling your name. Unspeakable Grace. Unspeakable Luck.
Has anyone ever died up here? (Sitting up front next to Gangaji)
Yes, many. That's the grace of Papaji. What a place to die. Here. Totally exposed. That's what death is, isn't it? It is finally to be exposed, and that is freedom. So are you ready to die? Are you willing to die?
Yes, I am.
Very good, then it happens quite effortlessly. There will be no attempts to resuscitate you.
I did the retreat with you at Crestone recently, and since then there has been this very sweet, still, opening. And I want to grab it and protect it, and build a wall around it.
Yes, to keep it.
. . . and hang on to it desperately.
This is familiar, right?
So, any advice would be appreciated.
Have you explored the limits of this stillness, this openness?
I feel like I just have a foot in the door.
Have you explored where stillness begins and where your foot enters?
Yes.
And what have you discovered?
I think this is with me all the time.
Very good, now you are telling the truth. This is the exposure. But you are still saying, "I think this is with me all the time." How can you know for sure that this is with you all the time? This is the realization that you're speaking of, isn't it? In realization, it doesn't even matter what your experience is. You no longer have to have a particular experience to know that you are the totality of experience.
What you are asking for, as you said, is to "die." To die to your thoughts of where you are, to die to your feelings of where you are, to die to all reference points as to where you are. In that instant, you have the opportunity to see, is there a beginning or an end to where you are?
I have no answer.
Very good. This is the exploration. Rather than trying to keep it, or protect it, or hold onto it, mind is sent in exploration of it. Mind is sent to discover the outer-most frontier. It is very good work for the mind. Mind experiences happiness to be relieved of its duties of measuring and categorizing, holding and keeping and building fortresses. There is just free, open exploration.
When my medicine teacher was alive, he told us that there were three classes of healers. The first class healed people after they became ill. The second class kept people from becoming ill. The third, and highest class, healed civilization. I think this is the third and highest, and I thank you.
This medicine is Papaji's and Ramana's gift to you. The secret of this healing power is to realize that what we call civilization is going on only in the mind. What we seek healing for is already whole, is already free, is always already pure and pristine. It is That which is alive in the core of your being. Your true Self. This is the medicine. This is the invitation. This is the Satsang.
I thank you for this Satsang.
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